Low Life by Alien Rope Burn

Introduction 1

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

So...

What the Fuck is Low Life?
_{Part the First}

Say, what the hell is Low Life ?

Let's look at the cover.



Okay, what the hell is that?

Well, let's look at the back cover.



Sword & Sorcery?! Another heartbreaker? Fuck it.

Wait, the text says some things about... werms... and... Suggested for Immature Readers? Maybe there is something here.

I suppose I might as far as the inside. I got the author to sign this, what did he-



Fuck this game. Seriously.

But. It's time for some full disclosure.

This game is written by Andy Hopp, who I am at least passingly familiar with. He's currently having a Kickstarter for Low Life Miniatures , so I thought it could be a good time to cover this game, since it deserves a writeup anyway. I've been wanting to cover his game here for a bit, and since covering the madness that is Rifts World Book Two was the end goal of covering Kevin Siembieda's ancient scribblings at the moment, it's a good stopping point for me to switch gears.

Andy also requested that this book be described as "artsy but fartsy", so bam, that's out of the way.

Part of why I'm covering this game is to give it a little extra exposure. Though I'm going to try and steer clear of shameless plug territory, nor am I going to pick the nits on this one quite as hard as I did for Rifts . Rifts deserves it. This does not. It has plenty of nits and they are obvious and disgusting.

So. What the hell is Low Life ?

I'm glad I asked.

Low Life is a post-apocalypse ("After the Wipe") fantasy game for Savage Worlds in which humanity ("the Hoomanrace") was wiped out. Now, the Earth ("Oith") has been inherited by a variety of evolved / devolved races, from Cremefillians (sentient snack cakes) to Oofos (failed alien invaders). There's magic like Hokus Pokery or Smellcasting, locales like The Festering Crapholes of Ewg or The Moonular Cheese Fields, and monsters like the Dweebs and Hair Bares.

In short, it's perfect for FATAL and Friends.

If you like your fantasy to get away from gnomes and dragons, if you like puns, and especially if you like jokes about butts, this is for you. And if you don't, well, that sounds like a personal problem.

Next: We crack this game wide open, like a butt over a toilet.

Introduction 2

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

I just thought I'd ask,

What the Hell is Low Life?
_{Part the Second}

We're still not quite sure.

The book opens up with the Face Merchant, a historian, who tells the tale of how humanity lived in harmony (he's wrong)until a nuclear "Nukular" war blew it all up. Then aliens invaded. Then comets came too close and reversed the Earth's direction and generally wrecked the moon, stranding the aliens there and triggering all sorts of cataclysms. "Egglantis" rose again... and fell again, giving the world magic back (somehow). Humanity became extinct or mutated into barely-recognizable Boduls. Roaches, worms, and snack cakes evolved into sentient forms. And now it's... some kind of... savage... world.


_{The Face Merchant with his merch.}

Then we get history again, this time more specific and less narrative, which breaks down into:

• A Really Really Long Time Ago: There are various theories on how the world began; it may have been rolled out of the manure by the Cosmic Dung Beetle or painted by Boss Rob, an ancient deity of nature.
  
• A Really Long Time Ago: There were cockroaches, worms, and the Primordial Soup Kitchen opened for business. Which is like evolution. Sort of.
  
• Way Back in the Day: There were Big Ass Monsters. I think they mean dinosaurs. Then they died.
  
• Back in the Day: The Hoomanrace had their age of peace. Then they had war and killed the hell out each other.
  
• The Time of the Flush: Pretty much every calamity that could happen did. It messed up stuff but good.
  
• After the Wipe: The Hoomanrace and oofo culture struggled to survive and mutated as the werms and croaches became greater things.
  
• Yesteryear: The various races that now inhabit the planet evolved. Magic returned and people learned out to use it, and people learned to stab people who use magic. A new era of adventure began with "The Rise of the Lowly".
  
• Recently: "I ate a sandwich."
  

_{"The lowliest werm becomes a king by his own sword."}

There's some definitions of time-telling, with months like Treeuary and Elevenune, and days like Spoonday and Fried Egg. The moon is no longer reliable for time-telling and is generally just erratic. Oh, and there are some terms:

• Heap: A group of PCs.
  
• Heroes: A group of PCs.
  
• The Party: A group of PCs.
  
• The Boss: The Game Master.
  

There's some more fine details as well. It tells us the tale of how the Yort was accepted as the system of measurement, which boils down to:

• One yort = one foot
  
• One big yort = one mile
  
• One small yort = one inch
  

Man, I'm just using all the bullet points here, none of you are going to have any left for your posts. Anyway, it notes all reckoning on Oith is done relative to the Keister of Gawd, which is a large island said to be the keister of Gawd. Most reckoning is done relative to ther locations. It also notes that sometimes the size of things is distorted, sometimes there can be ancient shoes the size of houses, or pants suddenly no longer fit, or a giant bird hatches from a tiny egg, whatever. And that's all we get on the world for now.

This is all a drastic simplification, there's lots of and footnotes and side comments by the art. It's interesting that with all the weirdness there's actual world-building being done here.

Next: It's time for character creation already, you pile of shit. (No, seriously, that could be your character.)

Character Creation

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

You're probably not really asking...

What the Shit is Low Life?
_{Part the Third}

First we start with character creation. For those that have a copy of Savage Worlds , it's straight up just character creation from Savage Worlds . For those without a copy of Savage Worlds , get a copy of Savage Worlds . It defines what skills are available (basically only Piloting is missing) and some languages, like Pewk, Ebonics, Jive, Scat, Guttermouth, and Esperonto.

Since the whole step-by-step process is located here, I'll go through character creation. I'm not going to go into details on how Savage Worlds character creation works, that'd be another writeup entirely, and who has the time, honestly? Besides, it's $10. $10 . I think I've used enough italics to make my point .

I'll cover all the Low Life -specific jazz later, though. Since I've been asked to, let's go through the character creation steps!


<sub>"A couple of bad ass cremefillians doing their thang."

First, I decide on a concept. Let's go with... a gangster that is also a mutant canolli. First, I choose a race. Let's choose cremefillian. I get five points for my attributes (cremefillian doesn't give me any stat boosts) - Agility, Smarts, Spirit, Strength, and Vigor. Each starts at a d4. I spend my points to have the following attributes: Agility d6, Smarts d4, Spirit d6, Strength d6, and Vigor d8. He's one tuff cream puff.

I get 15 points for skills. I figure a gangsta needs the following skills: Fighting, Gambling, Intimidation, Notice, Shooting, Streetwise, and Taunt. I also know I want Contamination magic, so I take that as a skill, too, and he'll probably be well-off knowing the Gangsta tongue. I distribute my points thusly. I don't worry about Lockpicking or Stealth, I figure he's more about busting down doors and punching guards than sneakin' around like some kind of wuss. He is a canolli of action.

Fighting d6, Gambling d4, Intimidation d8, Notice d4, Shooting d6, Streetwise d6, Taunt d4, Gangsta d4, and Contamination d8. I get the Ordinary tongue for free at d6.

I know I want him to do Contamination magic, so that'll require an edge to do it. Basically, he pushes on either side of his head, distorting his face to push out his foul, cheesy filling to do horrible things to people. I'll need some drawbacks to get what I want. So I decide he's Greedy (major); he always gets his cut, and will cut people for his cut. He's Loyal (minor), which is a good trait for a gangsta, and has the Habit (minor) of throwing in old-timey, confused gangster speak all the time, "let's grease this capiche!" That lets me purchase Arcane Background (contaminator) and I get either one edge, one attribute bump, or two skill bumps. I decide to take the Brawny edge from Savage Worlds, as well. He's large and filled with creamy madness.

He gets three powers on account of his monstrous filling. I take Contamination, to let him create "made men" out of muck. He likes to give them tiny sunglasses to disguise their nature, and is blissfully unaware that this only makes them stand out. I'm going to take Boost/Lower Trait, which allows him to give people "his blessing", and I take Smite to give people "the business".

He has 500 clams to start, and he has to have Snazzy Clothing (100 clams). I then turn to the weapon workshop to make some weapons; I'll cover the actual system later. He uses a dead werm as his main melee weapon, doing Strength +4 damage (nonlethal, two handed, reach +1, 125 clams), and he has a mutant freak named Tommy who spits its own teeth, and he uses Tommy as a gun. Tommy does 2d8 damage (range 6/12/24, armor piercing 2), and costs 268 clams. With only 9 clams left in his pocket, our cremefillian has good reason to be greedy.

Lastly, he gets the racial edges of Foul Taste, Tweenking, and Spongy Flesh. Tweenking is important for him to meet the strength requirements of his weapons (which both require Strength d8) since it lets him ignore them.

I name him Bigg Cheesovanni, the Canolli Kingpin, and he's ready for action!


"Beings of dubious lineage." aka Boduls.</sub>

So we get a list of possible professions. These are just descriptions, they don't affect your stats or anything:

• Booty Hunter: They catch folk who need caught.
  
• Craftsbeing: They make stuff.
  
• Gadabout : They explore, map, and name stuff.
  
• Gangsta: They do crime.
  
• Goon: "They hurt people for money."
  
• Ham: They entertain and seek attention.
  
• Hocus Poker: They do magic.
  
• Hoink: They guard stuff and prevent crime.
  
• Holy Roller: They do religion.
  
• Lashmaster: They keep slaves in line.
  
• Obsessed: They are dedicated to a crazy cause.
  
• Oldster: They study old stuff.
  
• Peddlemeister: They sell and trade stuff.
  
• Peed-on: They do crappy work.
  
• Pimp: They pimp.
  
• Price-o-corn: They do pirate things.
  
• Slaves: They do what others want.
  
• Slickster: They trick people.
  
• Smellcaster: They create magic smells.
  
• Snoot: They get to be rich.
  
• Taletalker: They tell stories.
  
• Weirdo: They create magic goodies.
  
• Wisenheimer: They do smart stuff.
  

_{"Various croaches also doing their thang."}

Then with no further ado, we get PC races:

• Bodul: They're the descendants of the Hoomanrace, and no two look alike. Generally they're humanoid... ish. Generally. They all look pretty funny or pathetic. They're the most abundant race. Their edges are Clever, Strange, and Proud Heritage.
  
• Cremefillian: They were created by the Hoomanrace to consume, but now have grown into beings all their own. Mutant snack cakes. A lot of them are violent criminals, if not all, and detest all things associated with the Hoomanrace. Their traits are Foul Taste, Tweenking, and Spongy Flesh.
  
• Croaches: Once roaches, these are now adaptable (socially and physically) and often gain positions of social distinction. Oh, and they can eat anything. Their edges are Antennae, Crunchy Shell, Multiple Limbs, and Gullet of Steel.
  
  
  _{"Some horcs contemplate the future of their smelven prisoner. Check out the guy in the back, he has a werm on a stick."}
  
  
• Horc: They're mucusey barbarians that are often bellicose warriors. They're really good at fighting and love weapons. Most don't get along with anybody, but they particularly hate Smelves for ancient reasons. Their edges are Buttkicker, Gurgitation, Slimy Bastard, and Tough Ass MoFo.
  
  
  _{"Bunny slippers make me laugh." Pictured: oofos.}
  
  
• Oofo: They're descended from alien invaders, and often look like greys, little green men, and a number of other old-timey alien stereotypes. They have no butts and thus are fascinated by the butts of others. They tend to be hard workers and often collect artifacts. They get their choice of three edges from: Big Ass Eyes, Brainiac, Glowy Finger of Love, Obsessed, Oddvision, Starry Wisdom, Slimy, Sticky, and Xenomorphic Physiology.
  
  
  _{"Piles are some pretty disgusting guys, but they just want to be loved like everybody else.}
  
  
• Pile: Created from arcane contanimation, they're magically animated lumbs of waste. They're pretty rare, but often seek adventure. They're mostly goop around a sentient core, and can throw their poo-parts at other people. Their edges are Dense & Chewy, Goo Flinging, Malleable, and Burly Fellow.
  
  
  _{"A gaggle of smelves kick the ass of a vile horc."}
  
  
• Smelf: They came from the lands of Middle Oith, fleeing the Horcs. They're small, slender people with huge noses, and have great senses of smell. Many become architects and smellcasters. They can also float by inhaling deeply into their noses. Their edges are Nasal Targeting, Nimble Little Guys, Nosebloating, and Schnoz to Be Reckoned With.
  
  
  _{"Tizn'ts are the most bizarre of Oith's creatures."}
  
  
• Tizn't: These are basically what the Primordial Soup Kitchen spat out after disasters fucked up. They are evolution gone "oops" and are basically sentient, but made up of mixed-up animal parts. They're universally varied and generally bizarre. Their edges are Hybrid and Object of Fascination; they generally get to make up unique edges for themselves.
  
  
  _{"Werms come in a multitude of varieties."}
  
  
• Werms: They, they're worms. Though most have arms and legs now, not all do. They've fairly diverse but often good fighters, and often become hocus pokers, merchants, artists, and artificers. Their edges are Burrowing, Coiled Spring, Low Light Vision, Regeneration, and Rubbery Skin.
  

Some of the comments on the amount of art in here is right; I want to point out I posted less than half the illustrations from this section.

Next: A sufficiently advanced religion is indistinguishable from magic, but is generally a lot more obnoxious and smug.

Edges

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

Yeah, we're still wondering...

What On Oith is Low Life?
<sub>Part the Fourth


Seriously, what the hell?</sub>

I lied, we have some material to go over before we get into the magic mumbo.

It's time to cover the new advantages merits feats edges. I'm going to be brief here because there's a lot of it, but if you want specifics on anything, just ask. Most of these speak for themselves pretty well.

• New Skills: These all related to the new Arcane Backgrounds for Low Life: Contamination, Dementalism, Holy Rolling, Hocus Poking, Smellcasting, and Weirdness. They'll get covered more in the next part.
  
• New Hindrances: Armless, Colorblind, Funny Looking, Hoardosarus, Inumerate, Junkie, Legless, Mistaken Identity, One Eye, Sort of Clueless, and Wuss. My favorite is inumerate. Very few games let you play somebody who can't count.
  
• New Background Edges: Arcane Backgrounds (for all the new skills above), Big Ass Feet, Bouncy Behind, Enhanced Senses, Extra Limb, Irradiated, Multidexterous, Prehensile Body, Really Big Guy, Really Small Guy, Rubbery, "Say, aren't you that one guy", Slimy, Sticky, Tentacular, Tongue Fu, Twin (Evil), Twin (Good), and Two-Faced. For a favorite, I'll pick out... Bouncy Behind. Reduces fall damage, and for good reason.
  
• New Combat Edges: Pimp Slap, Spit, and Loogey Hawker. Pimp slap is pretty much just a classic, but rarely so well mechanically supported.
  
• New Power Edges: Contanimaster and Reek Repository. These pretty much just give mechanical benefits to Arcane Backgrounds for those who've advanced high enough to nab them.
  

The new Professional Edges require a little more explaining.

• Boogie Knight: Embodiments of horcish values and generally just violent jerks as a result. They get bonuses against Smelves and bonuses on dealing with other horcs.
  
• Boorglezarian: These are worshippers of the cosmic dung beetle. They get bonuses to several skills to represent their diversity.
  
• Giggity Gigger: They work for the Primordial Soup Kitchen and steal giggities (souls?) to be used by the Kitchen. When they steal giggities they get bonuses related to whatever person's giggity they've stolen recently.
  
• Hoomanitarian: They worship the ancient Hoomanrace, and get bonuses to Holy Rolling when in contact with a human artifact or location.
  
• Jeezle Freak: Worshippers of an ancient human deity, they can take vows like silence or chastity. For each vow taken they get a bonus on Holy Rolling.
  
• Jemima's Witness: The cremefillians speak of an ancient deity that tormented them named Jemima, and work to destroy the works of the Hoomanrace as a result. They get bonuses on Holy Rolling and acting against artifacts of the Hoomanrace.
  
• Hoink: Law enforcement agents, they get the legal right to do all sorts of crummy things to people, unless they break the law themselves.
  
• Obsessulon: These are oofos are obsessed with their ancient technology, and can feel their presence from a distance, and get a bonus on learning how to use them.
  
• Smellementalist: These are expert smellcasters that get to regain part of their power points spent on smellcasting.
  
• Stanismist: Worshippers of Stan, lord of evil stuff, so evil beings won't attack Stanismists unless provoked.
  

_{Who called for some anime bullshit?}

And there are still more edges:

• New Social Edges: Compensating for Something and Smoove. For a favorite, well, see the above picutre.
  
• New Weird Edges: Animal Magnetism, Fish Breath, Filthy MoFo, Freak Occurence Magnet. Freak Occurence Magnet would be my favorite here, as it actually gets an effect and a table of effects for the GM to flesh out.
  
• New Legendary Edges: Cult Following, Face Munchin', Gawdliness, and Supreme Bad Ass. Supreme Bad Ass is my favorite here. Nothing fancy, just makes you more bad ass. (Also goes well with Bouncy Behind, if you want to be literal.)
  

_{Visual aids help.}

Whew! That's a lot of new stuff for Savage Worlds .

Next: Holy Rolling, or fucked-up religion for a fucked-up world. Also, caster degeneracy.

Faiths

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

We're still on about...

What the Heck is Low Life?
_{Part the Fifth}

Here we get into the faiths of Mutha Oith. That means it's time for our friend, the bullet point! It does my nerd heart good to stick things into little dot-shaped slots.

• Booglezarianism: They worship Boorglezar, the cosmic dung beetle, and the teachings of its prophet, Shimmizar. Generally that beetle is all things to all people, so most casual followers just take it as a justification to do anything they like. Devotees do more preaching, and practice all things in moderation . Some cultists use a special Cube (a 12-sided die) to determine how to act on any given day. Also, some create holy brothels to better understand the "cryptic sexuality" of Boorglezar, which is probably best kept cryptic.
  
  
  
  
• Hoomanitarianism: They see the Hoomanraces as demigawds, and the Flush let them become gods proper by ascending. They're big on collecting ancient Hoomanrace goodies, ranting how awesome the olden days were, and trying to understand the nature of the Hoomanrace. Some smaller sects try and seek out artifacts like the "Lost Remote", while others just try and wipe out all other religions.
  
  
  
  
• Jeezle Freakism: To briefify: they worship Jeezle, aka Jelvis, aka "The King", aka Jesus + Elvis. They point to the strange appearances and miracles caused by their savior, and are a pretty big deal. They like white jumpsuits and guilt. Jeezle's a pretty judgemental guy and there's always a lot of worry as to whether or not he would approve of whatever.
  
  
  
  
• Jemima's Witnessism: Apparently, there was an ancient deity named Jemima that imprisioned Cremefillians by powdering their essence and imprisioning them in boxes. This is used an as example as to why the Hoomanrace is bad and its relics must be destroyed. They're naturally all sorts of against Hoomanitarians, and some of them go as far to try and wipe out the Boduls as possible Hoomanrace descendants. Genocide and maple syrup, folks.
  
  
  
  
• Stanism: Stan is generally about doing what you want, especially if it involves being a jerk or indulging in vice, and charity and compassion are generally considered bleh. It's supposedly the oldest religion, and said to be the enemy of Jelvis and the progentitor of Jemima. They have a lot of sub-cults that specialize in one sin or another.
  
  
• Other Religions include: Aaaanimties, The Bottomliners, The Collaborators of Kaas, The Eternal and Pacifistic Borther and Sisterhood of the Wuss, The Fungish, The Ice Cream Socialists, Infernalophites, Prisokians, The Somnamulators, Templars of the Dong, Ximborbians, Yortians, Zooglebachianismists, and Zygotulonianism. If you want to know more about these folks, let me know, they aren't a huge deal (yet).
  

Then, we get into the magics of Mutha Oith. Bullet points, you're my only friend.

• Contaminator: These folks draw upon the energy and spirit of filth. They can create diseases, animate waste, create entropy, and generally do lots of yucky stuff. This tends to make them somewhat nasty themselves, dirty, diseased, or just generally cranky. The big drawback is that they tend to be somewhat sick and occasionally just cough or vomit when doing magic things.
  
  
  
  
• Dementalist: They harness the powers the mind, which lets them heal, control minds, move objects, create fire, control their bodily functions, etc. They generally tend to be snooty, but have the drawback of the occasionally distracting brainfart.
  
  
  
  
• Hocus Poker: These are your classic wizzes and witchers, who wave their hands around and say silly things to make magic happen. They can do just about anything except healing and mind stuff. They're not terribly common, and their spells can backfire, or sometimes they forget how to do their spells.
  
  
  
  
• Holy Roller: Religious nuts. But they get powers because they're so nutty. They're dependent, though, on performing sacrifices related to their faith, and avoiding sins associated with their faith.
  
  
  
  
• Smellcaster: They create magic fragrances and stinks ("reeks"), which can be breathed in, blown towards others, or thrown as missiles to have a reek inflict sombody. It takes time and preperation unlike other magic. Screwing up can make their reek go awry and make them stinky.
  
  
  
  
• Weirdo: These make magic devices. These can be really basic to the epically potent. They basically get to create one device for each power they have, and it takes time to invent or replace times. They can lend their devices, but can deactivate it if they're stolen or lost. Sometimes devices break down and take time to fix.
  

And then we get new powers:

• Contamination: Lets you make minions out of filth.
  
• Mind Readin': Pretty much what it says on the tin.
  
• Contaminants: Lets you summon elementals of filth, which apparently are detailed in the monster section.
  

There's a new rule that lets you cast a power at multiple targets at a penalty, a listing of what powers each magic type gets from Savage Worlds , and a description of SFX suggestions for a lot of common powers.

And that's it for arcane and divine powers in Low Life .

Next: Equipment, or more properly, stuff you buy to stab people with.

Stuff

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

It's a cheap schtick, but...

What in Tarnation is Low Life?
_{Part the Sixth}

It's time to talk about stuff, how to get it and what to do with it.



It turns out most of the economy is still Bartertown, there have been attempts to make currencies but they've been comedic failures. However, people tend to trade in clams, which is a miscellaneous catchall for beads, baubles, buttons, etc. Haggling is thusly important, and there are rules for it using the Persuasion skill.



We move on to the actual equipment, some of which are adventurer standby (lockpicking tools, backpack, torch), and less useful stuff (croach moltings, shiny rock). THere's also armor and shields, which is kept pretty simple, along with clothing, which is mostly just flava. There's some details on servants and services, including slaves (apparently cremefillians make very bad slaves). There's food, like ciruspi nuts (taste horrible, but filling) and moonular cheese (a delicacy. And then there's crazy stuff, like Hoomanrace artifacts (looks fancy, non-functional), Reeks in a bottle, weird devices (made by weirdoes), etc. There's vehicles like pit bloaters (balloons attached to your armpits), rolly skates, and a onescycle. Anyway, a bunch of handy stuff.



Then we get to the weapons workshop, which is a system to craft weapons and assign them a cost based on their effectiveness, and you make up whatever SFX, maybe a huge garlic masher or a nailapult or whatever. Generally, the deadlier the weapon, the higher its strength requirement (but cremefillians can ignore it and exploit the hell out of this section). Or, it suggests, you can just use the medieval weapons section from the core book. This does present the usual issue of games that make you buy your stuff with money (that is, weapon power level - which can be a big deal - is completely tied to your story-variable wealth).

And that basically completes all the character creation and advancement material. Next, we move on to oinformation on Oith.

Shit, I think I've been oinfected with something.

Next: The Gazetter of Oith, it's time to show off the butt on this dung ball.

Locations

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

You definitely haven't asked...

What in the Name of the Rose is Low Life?
_{Part the Seventh}

Well, now we get into... setting information. But first, it gives us some mechanics for using random encounter tables. We don't get the tables yet, but we just draw from a deck of cards each day (a usual accompaniment for Savage Worlds) and if it's a face card, you roll on the table.


_{Note "Someplace Awful" on the right.}

It goes on to point out Oith is fucked up, if you hadn't worked that out. It's basically a big heap of ash and rot plus litter. But there's still amazing and beautiful stuff here and there. And, well, what's ugly to us may be grand, luxurious squalor to a croach.

So we get into actual locales, next.

The Empirical Tyranium of Agog



Basically, this is a land of criminals, bandits, gangstas, and thugs. It's ruled by a horc named Fistpounder Gavelbanger, who just encourages this lack of civility. It has Agog City, which is pretty much a den of scum and more scum. Also, there are pirates and the sea monsters that eat them.

The Festering Crapholes of Ewg



This is a wasted land of craters, ash, swaps and ruined forests. It's mostly inhabited by savages, miners, and crazy hermits. It's ruled by the Gubernator, who controls what resources the land does have.

It has a number of regions - there's Clorb's Wang, a peninsula which is named after a local hero, and is a important source of urinium. It has Glowhio, which mostly has monsters, glowy radiation, and the important glowy rock known as smolderstone. The Phesterence is a stinky, moldy swamp, mainly known for being stinky and terrible. And then there's the Teats of Boorglezar, which varies between ice-covered mountains and burping volcanoes. The Teats have local, hostile tribes, and also cute duckies. Upon the Teats is the Booglezarium, a monastery dedicated to Booglezar, natch. Finally, it has Yewnork, which was a city destroyed by the mudslide, and now the mud has washed away and you can go in to take crap.

The Incredibly Huge Monster



This is a corpse of a incredibly huge monster. It's said it was killed by a legendary hero. Also the monster has monsters in it.

Once again, we have more specific locates. There's the Monstrous Headland, with the Follicular Maze. It's known for its great mineral wealth within in terms of wax, ivory, and mucosite. There's the Auricular Wax Mines, where they mine monsterwax, which is handy for many things. There's a boomtown called Doop, and it's also said there is a magical oracle deep within the mines. There's the Quarry of the Danged, where the mine the rare stone of Mucosite, which is soft at first but is tougher than steel once hardened. There's the Tail that juts into the sky, and it is home to the groothoo boids. Torsovania is full of monsters, desert, and nasty seas. The Crack of Doom is the monster's ass. And there's the The Roving Town of Scab, which is a nomadic town that travels Torsovania, trying to find valuable... scabs.

Had enough scatalogical humor? Oh. We're not done yet.

The Mysterious Realm of Keister Island



This is said to be the center of the world. It's also a little wet and stinky, for it has the Keister of Gawd, a hole in the ground that constantly bleches nasty vapors. There's also mysterious statues and ruins that are mysterious.

Here you'll find the Bitchin' City of Floom, which is one of the largest and most cosmpolitan (big word) cities in the world. It's a pretty fancy place and we get a lot of individual locations like The Reekbottle Theater or the Froth. There's the Keister of Gawd, which is really impressive (waterfalls are pretty) and gassy.

The Dingdom of the Dong, a Land of Sunshine and Lollipops
_{and evil tyrannical oppression, murder, thuggery, and barbarism.}



This is the cremefillian homeland - maybe - ruled over by Horus Morus, the Ding of the Dong. They're xenophobic here, which means they don't like you, and are obbsessed with honor, tradition, and crime. It's actually pretty healthy here because most of the pollution is soaked up by those nasty-ass cremefillians.

It has Mount Funky, a dormant volcano. There's Toast, the capital city with all sorts of fancy delicate architecture and colorful stuff, also casinos, brothels, and shrines. It has a number of locations like the Pox Romanum and the Ding of Dong's palace. There's also Borkle Bleek, a field of flowers and tumbled boulders where the sage Borkle Snode lives.

The Moonular Cheese Fields



This where cheese fell from the moon after it was strucky by a comet. Many come here seeking a city of pure cheese and generally go missing. But who knows what the truth is?

It has Maankass, made of stale cheese run by the Cheesemonger's Guild. There's Snord Fjord, which is a chasm of cheeseflesh and molten cheese. It's said it has the tomb of Snord, the last king of Maankaas.

The Independent Bossdoms of Ordure



This is your catch-all multi-kingdom city-state sort of land. They fight a lot, sometimes with words and sometimes with s-words.

It has Gargle Twice, a land of refuse and mold, and the city itself has grand walls and defenses, as well as a wonderful bars and brothels. New Oorlquar is the biggest city in the world, even more cosmopolitaner than Floom and with a fancy market for buying things. It has some locations detailed like the Sin-o-gogue of Stan or the Mother of All Markets. And there's the ruins of Old Oorlquar, wrecked by war and now a dangerous place despite all the nice stuff in it.

The One Place With All the Sand



It's basically the world's biggest litter box, and most people here are nomadic, sometimes on the backs of large critters called stomps. The Sultan Pepper rules here, a croach with a hundred wives and a thousand offspring. Boorglezarianism is a big deal here and heresy is a terrible crime. Honor's big here too, but most people here have the sense to regard outsiders as ignorant savages and not get too bothered about it.

Anyway! It has Babajuana, which is a fancy, wealthy place of culture, trade, and strictly enforced laws. It has places like Poopoos and Beer (a local taco chain) and Achoo Goonzalez's Funtime Grooming Emporium and Exectutionarium.

Random Encounters

This section ends with some random encounter tables for each locale, reminding us not every encounter has to be fighty time. So.

Next: The Bestiary of Oith, a manual of monsters, a folio of fiends, and generally weird-ass shit to stick sharp things into, or not, I won't judge.

Monsters

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

The question is pretty much answered, but somebody's still asking...

What the Hey is Low Life?
_{Part the Eighth}

Apparently there are more things than are listed here, of course. But here are some mmmonsters:

• Borlo: This are humanoidish, with big blue asses, and suckers instead of hands. They bounce around and collect shiny things to put in their hollow foreharms. On, and they have horns. They're quick to anger.
  
• Brocodile: Basically a crocodile with two tails and an afro. Well. A bush on its head. That looks like an afro.
  
• Cheese Leech: These are huge worms (not werms) that infest cheese fields (and give them holes). A rare few have been able to tame them as mounts.
  
• Contaminant: Elementals of filth and yuck, they're normally invisible but can be summon by contaminators. They come in several varieties, from weak to buff: wuss, wanker, and mensch.
  
  
  
  
• Bruisers: Spirits of rot and decay, they're basically humanoid amalgamations of rotting meat and maggots. They have a huge mouth and terrible dental care.
  
• Bad Ass: Spirits of disease and plague, they're big, tough, and infectious.
  
• Cute Little Ducky: Adorable, tiny beasts with terrible teeth and a voracious appetite. Like duckies, only worse. Much worse.
  
• Dweeb: Dorky little fat guys that are really smart, and love showing it off. They're generally snarky tricksters, but not much good in a fight.
  
• Esophagator: A mouth with tail and flippers, it swims around and tries to eat stuff. It can swallow tings larger than itself due to an expandable stomach.
  
  
  
  
• Giggities: Minions of the Primordial Soup Kitchen , these impish creatures can copy traits of other beings to bring back to the PSM for its mysterious purposes.
  
• Goozers: These are tiny lizards that, when they get drunk, turn into floating, bloated orbs that attack and eat just about anything.
  
  
  
  
• Groothoo Boid: They're tall, slender, pretty pretty birds. They're smart, but hate or fear most other critters. Rarely they become hocus pokers or holy rollers. Seem like a good candidate for a minor PC race to me.
  
• Hair Bare: These are small two-legged butts that attack en masse, and live in the Headlands. They can bite and fart, not necessarily in that order.
  
• Headstone: These are mysterious living statues that wander Keister Island, that like to squash living things.
  
• Kanker: Spirits of disease and mutation, these are valuable to miners as they leave glowy drippings which can be used. They can squirt acid and punch boils into you.
  
• Milf: Shapechangers, they can turn into attractive members of any species. Then they use their long tongues to choke the hell out of their victims. Nobody knows what their true form is like.
  
• Mutant Land Fish: Big fish with sharp teeth and long legs that hunt in packs. Voracious, as if you needed to ask.
  
• Odre: These are stinky giants somewhat related to cremefillians. Also, they're big mean jerks.
  
• Oily Boid: Useful in that their drippings can be used for oil, but in flocks they swarm over people in oily nets that are really hard to get out of.
  
• Primordial Goon: Thugs for the Primordial Soup Kitchen , they're basically big amoebas that can mutate people with a bite or split into two when attacked.
  
  
  
  
• Puddle of Yuck: These are gelationous monsters that hide in ponds and oases in The One Place With All The Sand, and then jump travellers. They can also paralyze people with their tendril-slaps.
  
• Qoochacho: Strange triangular beasts that roam the Cheese Fields. They aren't dangerous unless provoked, in which case they spray puke at you.
  
• Scary Ass Mutha: They have tiny bodies and huge scary faces. They also have a poisonous bite that causes fear.
  
• Schooble: Their whining voices are usually heard first big yorts away. They're hairy, toothy quadruped hunters.
  
• Slog: These are like cremefillians, but are more like werm in shape. Pygmy slogs are used as mounts, but sand slogs and giant slogs are much, much bigger and more dangerous.
  
  
  
  
• Spirit of the Danged: The undead. They hate living things and can turn material or immaterial. They're scary and bitey.
  
• Squiggly Mass: These are like a blob of tentacles and spins. They can do hocus pokery and usually command other monsters because they're born terrible.
  
• Stomp: It's a giant foot that hops around, used as a mount in That One Place With All The Sand. Yes, they can stomp on things. Stomp them but good!
  
  
  
  
• The Thing That Might Not Be: Four legs and a pair of jaws, these things occasionally stop existing, which can make it a real pain to fight them off.
  
  
  
  
• Trionaparapants: Another quadruped hunter, this time with horns and stingers all over its face. It's really a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e.
  

There, you got your monsters, kill some, gain some XP, then stop bothering me, kid.

Now, important note . The rest of the book is dedicated to Savage Tales, a full campaign dealing with the Primordial Soup Kitchen (in case you were wondering where the hell that was covered). . There are 21 short adventures in all. I've now covered the bulk of the game itself - do people want to see these covered as well, and if so, in detail or in brief? Let me know!

Next: Savage Tales? Spoiler alert: this next part will contain spoiler alerts, because there are spoilers. Not like contaminators, either.

Savage Tales

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

We're back after a short break for...

What in the Mother of Fuck is Low Life?
_{Part the Ninth}

Now, it's time for the Savage Tales section. This is basically a full-out campaign. It's split into "Plot Points", which in some cases are short encounters and other cases are closer to full-on adventures. There are twenty-one parts to this is total, which is part of what's taken me so long so get back on the horse, so to speak, and get this wrapped up.

We get some guidelines on things like getting from place to place, and a random adventure generator. Then, we get a very brief overview of the big plot.

SPOILERS AHEAD: NO, SERIOUSLY, IT'S SPOILERS ALL THE WAY DOWN UNTIL I BREAK OUT THE ALL CAPS AGAIN.

There, now. I'm going to cover the first five adventures in the book. Some are essential to the core plot it puts forward, some are not.

The quick overview of the plot is a group of villains, led by Uuulon Creplos (a power-hungry contaminator), is searching for the mysterious Primordial Soup Kitchen. However, Fozzle (a Hoomanitarian minister) overheard their plans, and he began to search for it himself. With all that in mind, I'm going to go over the adventures in brief. Adventures marked with a * are core to the central plot. Names without a * are optional and can be skipped if you're just running the main plot.

• Pastor of Puppets*: While Fozzle makes a puppet-guided sermon, he's attacked by assassins from the Jemima's Witnesses. He leaves clues for the PCs to follow to help; whether or not they save him, he's killed before the morning (this is a bit forced). At the funeral, more cremefillians from Jemima's Witnesses try and throw his body into the Keister of Gawd, but if the PCs stop them, they get some more clues from his butt. Yeah, that's pretty much how the game rolls.
  
• If I Wanted Your Opinion I Would Beat It Out of You*: The minister at the funeral, Daddy Hassafras, guides the PCs to speak to Finsto the Quill, a philospher and tattoo artist, to seek out more about the tattoo they discovered on Fozzle's butt (it said "PSK - ask the Goosed". Fozzle, after making them solve a puzzle in a Professor Layton-esque fashion, directs the PCs to a bunch of nerdy wisenheimers to find out more about the PSK, which stands for Primordial Soup Kitchen. The the nerds ask the PCs to stop (not kill) a bunch of bullies bothering them; if they do so, they will spout out a bunch of rumors about the PSK. This section is supposed to entice the PCs to investigate further.
  
• Ultimate Minion Fighting Champs*: Gristle, a croach, approaches the PCs as aquaintances of Daddy Hassafras, and warns them of a plot to kidnap Hassafras by Uuulon Crepsthrall by replacing Hassafras' bodyguards with fakes and having them kidnap the Daddy during a fighting event. This a lie to try and trick the PCs into attacking Hassafras' legit bodyguards so Gristle can kidnap the Daddy for Uuulon. During the event itself, Uuulon's prize fighter takes the fight into the crowd, creating a distraction as Gristle makes his move. The PCs can succeed or fail, it doesn't affect the overall plot overtly, as Hassafras survives either way. It also instructs to not let Uuulon die, but that doesn't seem too likely in the course of things anyway. This part doesn't seem as essential to the overall plot, and mainly seems to be here to establish Uuulon as a villain and his interest in the PSK.
  
• Greetings Oith Creature, May I Take Your Order?*: This is a mission delivering packages for the Grey Matter Boozaterium which turn out to be devices to spread the influence of a conspiracy known as the Dimensional Discotesticus. This really just establishes the conspiracy as a plot point, but is designed to just be a subplot to other adventures.
  
• How Much is that Sloggy in the Window?: This a quick adventure where the PCs have to uncover the mystery of a rapidly growing slog purchased by a local merchant that threatens his livelyhood and safety.
  

OKAY, SPOILERS ARE OVER.

Well, my thoughts on the adventures? The first one is a little touch and go- it depends on a few clues the PCs could easily miss or misinterpret their first time through. Once it gets going, it works pretty well, though the adventures suffer from having their outcomes predetermined in some cases, but that goes along with having an adventure path as long as this book contains. (Also, having the chestnut of "don't kill this character!" is usually distasteful, but most such characters are generally kept out of combat scenes anyway so far).

Even if you don't run the adventures, they give a pretty good idea of how the game is intended to be run, which is something often missing from games as strange as Low Life. I'm not sure we needed fifty pages of adventures, but that's part of the Savage Worlds setup to focus on premade adventures more than most other games do. It certainly provides a readymade answer to the question of "what the hell do I do with this book?", at least.

Next: More goosin' adventures!... whatever that means. We've just scratched the surface here!

More Adventures

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

"I'm not back on it, I'm still on it."

What in the What is Low Life?
_{Part the Tenth}

It's time for part two of the Savage Tales section. This time it starts out with some non-plot essential plots before gearing into the main campaign thread. As before, * denotes an adventure that ties into the main plot.

ONCE AGAIN, ALL CAPS TO MARK THE SPOILING ALERT, BECAUSE I DON'T CARE TO THROW MOST OF THE POST INTO SHADOW, ALSO I'M BOOKMARKING IT WITH PICTURES, BECAUSE THE PICTURES ARE AWESOME.

BUT YOU KNOW THAT.

• The Rootbeer of All Evil*: The PCs come across Daddy Hassafrass again, who collapses while preaching, just before a number of people in the city take ill. The Froth, a font of rootbeer drank from by many, has been poisoned by Uuulon, causing folks all over the city to break out in poisoned diarrhea (there's a twist you won't see in a Pathfinder Adventure Path) which Uuulon is collecting in the sewers to make a better, more powerful minion to use in the gladitorial games. The PCs have to uncover this - and stop it, of course. This adventure mostly just seems to completely establish Uuulon as a total dick, but it doesn't push the core plot onward.
  
• The Secret Ingredient is Love: This is a plot where the PCs are lured in for chili by a hobo who is cursed to make awful chili. He tries to lure them into helping him get the cure, but it's a trick, as he really wants them to just get rid of the guardians of a secret cave and run off with the treasure. There are monsters and traps, and eventually they free a captive gawd called Slorg. Slorg grants wishes, but can do so in a gamem-ass-terish way if players are greedy.
  
• Give Me Back My Boat, You Crazy Bastards!: The PCs are confronted with a mystery during a play, but it's disrupted when a star actor has his crown and boat stolen. There's clues and investigating and a random attack by Uuulon's thugs (really, he's pissed at the group and it's just thrown in). Anyway, it turns out a the actor's understudy and a suicide cult has taken the boat and is going to use it to sail into the Keister of Gawd. The PCs have to stop them, or alternately, fall into the Keister of Gawd and all die, or something.
  
• Bring Me The Ass of Gorminee the Goosed!*: This has the PCs following clues to the Garden of Smellemental Glee looking for Gorminee the Goosed, who supposedly knows stuff about the PSK (see adventures from part the tenth). The Garden is home to smellcasting monks, and they can answer about Gorminee, saying he studied here and then fled with some of their stuff to New Oorlquar. They also want their stuff back and offer a reward. The PCs have to travel by sea and there's a pirate battle, and then once at New Oorlquar. Here the adventure forks, because there are several locales the PCs can investigate to try and find Gorminee.
  
• One Sniff Too Many*: This is if the PCs trail Gorminee to Nosular Decadence, where they encounter an amorous pile who flirts and flees. Apparently the pile came to get a perfume, but Bungo Bungo, the smelf that runs the place, accidentally gave him an aphrosdisiac that has made the pile super-horny. Unfortunately, the pile broke stuff and ran away from the store with the smelf's stirring stick. The PCs, with the usual promise of reward, go after the pile and stop him from giving hickies and gooses to everything he comes across. If the PCs succeed, the smelf will direct them to Under the Sink, another locale for the PCs to look for Gorminee.
  

SPOILERS DONE NOW!

Whew! That's about half of the adventures so far. It should be noted that though Low Life is full of poop and butt gags, it's not really necessarily kid-oriented, it has massacres, gore (such as it is with twinkie-people), brothels, etc. Really, not much different than something like AD&D, but it bears mentioning.

A lot of the adventures follow the "trouble > promise of reward > PCs solve trouble" quest structure, especially for the non-plot adventures. This is tried and true, but you probably want to make sure you have a group of PCs well-motivated by greed (but not too motivated, lest they just rob quest-givers) and general adventure benevolence.

Another thing from a earlier section I forgot to cover: the slang in Low Life isn't really codified. There's a lot of it in these adventures, but it's really recommended you make it up as you go. Still, these adventures give a good idea of how to do it, though getting into the spirit of the slang will probably be tough for some folks, it requires a lot of spontaneity and wordplay on the fly.

Next: More adventures, duh.

Five More Adventures

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

Rats! Thousands and thousands of rats! Warn them! Warrrn-

What the ?! is Low Life?
_{Part the Eleventh}

We now get back to reading about the series of adventures in Low Life, aka Savage Tales. This is the next five adventures. Once again, * means the adventure is core to the campaign plot.

SPOILERS BELOW, UNTIL THE ALL CAPS SIGN AGAIN.

• Poo Eating Grin*: Here we pick up on the PCs trying to seek out Gorminee again. There are some puzzles that open up this adventure, as the PCs run into some puzzled old men going Under the Sink (the restaurant mentioned last time) and then some more puzzling to pick up the trail again. There are some traps if they muck up the puzzles, but once they suss things out, clues left by Gorminee (for his employer, not the PCs, but there's a mix-up) point them to The Phesterance. Then Uuulon's goons try and kill them again.
  
• Foulness Aplenty*: This is an alternate locale the PCs can go to while searching for Gorminee. It's one of the more elaborate adventures, putting the PCs through a variety of embarassing or possibly lethal tests to become parishoners of Stanism to get the answers they seek. If they manage to pass the tests and charm the head priest, they'll get pointed to Under the Sink, dealt with above in Poo Eating Grin.
  
• Curses! Soiled Again: This comes out as the PCs are travelling to the Phesterence, and deals with the PCs coming across the scene of a massacre, where they run across a robbed caravan that was transporting a large piece of glass. Coming across the town of Gargle Twice, the PCs are recruited to try and help remove a curse on their local king, who has been changed into a baby. There's a lot of clues and investigation to do, including possibly running across a ghost. Ultimately it'll come down to the PCs uncovering a plot by Hoomanitarians to use a lens to roast their foes, an all-out battle between the Hoomanitarians and Jemima's Witnesses, a NPC named Hater Wig Wig, find out the whole baby deal was prank gone awry, and maybe even that the king prefers being a baby after all.
  
• The Muck Starts Here*: The PCs arrive at The Phesterence, which is super-nasty and ther are monsters to fight. They run across a dweeb and rescure Gorminee from savage werms. Or, Gorminee gets cooked. One of the two. Having finally found Gorminee, he reveals there is a staff with several parts which can open the Primordial Soup Kitchen (remember that?), and one part is her in an abandoned temple, and another part with the Greenspleen clan of Glowhio. He's working for Uuulon, but doesn't trust the guy (smart). After making their way through the temple, traps, and monsters, they can indeed get a piece of the staff. Gorminee will try and steal it later, but it's not his fault, he's being mind controlled by the Dementional Discotesticus (remember them?).
  
• Beslave Yourself*: Anyway, the PCs travel on to Glowhio, where they can capture a monster for one of the locals to gain some information, and find out the Greenspleens have been enslaved to work in a local mine. By sneaking in and with some dungeoneering, they can encounter the head of the Greenspleens and recover the next piece of the staff.
  

NO MORE SPOILERS NOW FOREVER.

One thing that feels a bit unusual with these adventures is the love of riddles and puzzles, they're inserted sometimes quite randomly. None of them are particularly taxing to those versed in riddles, but it's an interesting note. It's almost like Oith culture has riddles has a big part of its culture - as passcodes, tests, and just as something to pass the time. Being able to solve riddles seems to be seen as a valuable skill.

Next: The big climax to all of this running around and adventuring. We're almost through!

Still More Adventures

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

Pretty sure I've answered...

What in Sam Hill is Low Life?
_{Part the Twelfth}

These are almost the last of the adventures; there's only one final one after these wrap up. Once again, * means the adventure is core to the campaign plot. Kind of a formality at this point, it's the conclusion of the campaign from here on out.

BLAH BLAH SPOILERS BLAH.

• A Not So Farewell To Arms*: The PCs get a mysterious invitation to meet in Maankaas in the Moonular Cheese Fields. There, they find out Uuulon is suspected of stealing a important werm's prosthetic limbs. Eventually when stopping by a restaurant, they run a minion of Uuulon, who introduces them to Grabmaster Norq. Norq announces he's been hired to steal the staff and some other items needed to open the PSK, and is informing them out of politeness. He'll use a shrinking device afterwards to become very small, and literally tail the PCs by stowing away on them. It notes he might steal minor things while tailing them, but also might help them obtain the goods (so he can steal them later).
  
• A Wang and a Prayer*: The PCs follow clues to Clorb's Wang to find the Epigraph needed as part of the puzzle to open the PSK. There, they run into the Browneye tribe of horcs who can provide information about the Epigraph, but only if they can beat the tribal buttkicker in ritual combat. This involves swinging from opposite sides of a canyon admist mud geysers to joust with hammers. Or get burned by boiling mud. Once they convince the horcs, they're directed to a tomb where they meet several wise men. They're put through several tests by the old twerps; my favorite is the Test of Courage, where the old man orders the PC to jump from a cliff. (The solution is to balk at the test and steadfastly refuse.) After that they enter the tomb, fight some odres, and then face up against a number of guardian monsters, including Pusghetti the Squig. After defeating them, they can make their way out with the epigraph (which is a bunch of hard plastic letters, as shown in the above picture).
  
• To Ear is Hooman*: This presumes the PCs at some point go back to the Garden of Smellimental Glee to inform them of Gorminee's death, and get some reeks to use as a reward. The monks will direct the character to Auricular Wax Mines to seek an oracle. The PCs will have to arrange travel to Agog, and from there to Doop, a city on the Incredibly Huge Monster. There, they can find a guide to find the oracle - Zelviz, a croach Jelvist. From there, they can travel through th tunnels, fighting hare bares, spirits of the danged, and dealing with a trap or two. When they come across the Oracle's home, though, the oracle is missing, and following the trail leads to a group of Danged, who will fight for a bit, but eventually direct the PCs that they sold the Oracle to some traders. Going on to Scab, they can find the traders, but it was stolen by groothoo boids. The boids - after a fight - will direct the PCs to Eparch, a Jeezle Freek in the Crack of Doom, who will return the Oracle, but only if they prove they are free through confession and bowling. The Oracle, when returned, will give them four limericks to guide them on their way.
  
• The Grog in Agog Clogs Soggily Near the Slog*: Here, they travel to Agog to gain a shield necessary to open the PSK. Finding it isn't hard, as it belongs to an old horc who will gladly trade for it. However, then the PCs will come under attack by a bunch of horcs mind-controlled by Pusghetti. If they defeat the horcs, he'll fight them himself. Hopefully they don't all die and can move on to the next part.
  
• Fat Sushi Ain't No Chump*: The hints lead the PCs on to Toast, a cremefillian city. Meeting with Fat Sushi, a cremefillian mobster, they'll run into Ghin Soo, Sushi's bodyguard who bears the helm they need for the PSK on his head. Getting the helm will be pretty tough - they can gamble, pay an impossible amount of money, or fight it out.
  

SPOILERS OVER.

Whew! This part might require some prompting on the part of the GM, it seems like it might be possible for the PCs to go way off track if they're not careful. The puzzles aren't too obtuse, but it's definitely possible to get distracted.

Next: The Ever-Lovin' End.

The Big Finale

posted by Alien Rope Burn Original SA post

Finally,

What is Low Life?
_{Part the Thirteenth}

This covers the final part of the campaign, the NPCs, a bit of backstory, about the author.

Oh, and the end of the book.

SPOILEENHEREYUNO

• A Powerful and Enigmatic Secret of the Universe*: This starts off at describing all the parts the PCs have assembled, and how they form the Prisokian Staff. Mainly, that it's not a staff proper, but that the letters, sign (shield), and base stand (helm) form a sign that says "Help wanted inquire within". There's a forced bit of fiat where Grabmaster Norq steals the staff, unless the group is paranoid enough to keep guard on it at all times. In turn, he leaves his shrinking device behind. It then presumes that in their adventures, they've been able to deliver packages from the Dimensional Discotesticus, and in turn their oofo contact is assassinated by Uuulon's bad ass minions (once again, by fiat). The dying alien gives them a small ovoid object that it claims is the Primordial Soup Kitchen.
  
  Meanwhile, the PCs will catch word of Uuulon using his minions to map the ancient statues of local Keister Island. Either by gaining access to Gorminee's belongings from the Garden of Smellemental Glee, or by investigating Uuulon's activities, they should be able to find the spot of the PSK and have a big rumble with Uuulon and his minions (if they haven't offed him already). If they're getting beaten, various NPCs like Gorminee, Hassafras, or Norq can show up to give them a hand.
  
  Once the PCs triumph over Uuulon once and for all, there's a spot to assemble the staff. Which... assembles... the staff, as the statues become the oofo staff of the PSK, and summons the manager's hat. Any PC that puts it on becomes the manager. The small ovoid object given to them turns out to be the shrunken form of the PSK, and the shrinky-dink machine can restore it to normal size. What does this all mean? Well, we get a writeup for the PSK at the end of the book. For now...
  

Peeps



First we get some generic writeups for each race type, which are a bit weaker than starting PCs. Then we get "Wild Cards", Savage Worlds' fancy name for NPCs who is important, and their stats.

• Agreegulous Dangle: A former horc pirate and soldier, and now horc drunkard and gambler. Owns the Prisokian Shield.
  
• Binky Boobookisser: The croach chamberlain and nanny to Vernix Lanugo, the baby king of Gargle Twice.
  
• Bowcrusher Sailtanger: The horc captain of the Gavelbanger's Fist, pirate, and possible transportation for the PCs on these adventures.
  
• Daddy Hassafrass: A Bodul holy roller for the Hoomanitarian cause. He has a "funky" "vibe" to his "jazz". He wants to use the PSK to revive the Hoomanrace.
  
• Don Sushioka "Fat Sushi" Twinkugowa: The cremefillian owner of the Pair-o-dice casino in Toast.
  
• Doorq Snozzleweener: The tizn't chef of The Chopping Block, a restaurant and bar in Floom. Has a nasty-tasting but addictive magic chili recipe.
  
• Eezle Gutgobbler: Male horc actor and generally a snooty ham.
  
• Fecus Fecus: A werm contaminator in Floom who acts as a rival of Uuulon.
  
• Gorminee the Goosed: A smelf smellcaster who was mind controlled by the Dimensional Discotesticus to seek out the PSK.
  
• Grabmaster Norq: The greatest thief on Oith, Norq is working for Uuulon, but has planted evidence to blackmail Uuulon with if he's double-crossed. He has a contanimatronic minion named Mister Filthington.
  
• Gristle Sans-an-arm: A croach criminal and generally suspicious character.
  
• Guy Goosevomit: A cremefillian actor, he's decided to end his life over bad reviews, and in turn destroy the crown and boat of Eezle Gutgobbler by throwing it into the Keister.
  
• Hater Wig Wig: Leader of the Chocogator near Gargle Twice who has attacked several Hoomanitarian caravans, and likes killing Boduls in general.
  
• He Who Smells Far: A bodul smellcaster and Abbot of the Garden of Smellemental Glee, he's blind and deaf, but his sense of smell is so acute that it lets him function normally.
  
• The Hole in the Head Gang: These bodul bullies steal money from wisenheimers. Each has a cowboy hat with a hole in it, but their leader, Aardfolk Burrowbrow, has genuine head like a hole. There's also Jonk Strawberry, a bodul dreadhead moll, Patton the head, a secret nerd and hocus poker, Thunk, who is big and hits things, and Weenkle, who's small and fast.
  
• Illuz the Goard: A chili chef from Floom who is jealous of Doorq's recipe and plots to steal it.
  
• Imzozo Hoop: An oofo dementalist member of the Dementional Discotesticus who seeks to have a Grey Matter Boozaterium opened in every city.
  
• Magnanimous Grap: A werm pimp who runs the Split Hair in Doop.
  
• Omaguna Kikbuti: The horc buttkicker of the Browneye tribe.
  
• Othothoth Blech: The werm sinmaster of Stan at the sin-o-gogue in New Oorlquar. Can be a fun guy, can be a dick.
  
• Pentultimus Mongo: The tizn't captain of the Pride of Maankaas, who may be a regular ride-provider for the PCs.
  
• Peenostril Pottymouth: A bodul slavelord and cousin to the Gubernator of Ewg. He has a good twin who can replace him in the case of his death.
  
• Pusghetti the Squigg: A squiggly mass, he's charged with overseeing the Priskoian Epigraphs for Uuulon.
  
• Slimemold Smelf XII: A smellcaster smelf who's imprisoned by Hater Wig Wig. Accidentally responsible for the curse that turned Vernix Lanugo into a baby.
  
• Smartypants Brainbulger: A dweeb that runs around trying to meet interesting people and playing jokes on folks. Only wears a bowtie.
  
• Stomp-o-sore-ass: A bunch of spikes with wooden feet, this is Fecus Fecus' contanimatronic minion.
  
• Uuulon Creplos: A cremefillian contaminator and all-around jerk, he's insanely paranoid and believes all beings are contaminantronic minions sent to foil him. He can summon extra minions himself on account of a magical suppository.
  
• Uuuly Crepthrall: A contaminatronic minion with an axes and a belly full of rocks it throws at people. Uuulon has created backups of this guy in case it's destroyed.
  
• Vernix Lanugo: The larval croach loard of Gargle Twice. Though cursed by accident, he prefers his new form to his old seventy-year old body.
  
• Vittle Varmint: A horrid monster made out of food and/or vomited food created by Stanists.
  
• Yochephalus Greenspleen: Former patriarch of the Greenspleen bodul clan of Glowohio, but he defaulted on a loan to the Gubernator and ended up in slavery.
  
• Zelviz: A devout Jeezle Freek and croach guide to the Incredibly Huge Monster. Can float constantly through unexplained means.
  

Then we get some miscellany for the adventure, including the Disenlargificator, which is Norq's shrinking device. It requires successful Smarts rolls to use properly, with crazy possible malfunctions including permanent death (ooops).

And then there's the Primordial Soup Kitchen. It can be used to create life, but all the recipes have been lost. It can create tizn'ts, either randomly or by combining traits from known creatures. It has giggities constantly travelling to and from collecting traits, and has primordial goons available to be used as muscle. The PCs get to be in charge of it, presumably, and it's a pretty big deal.

Also secretly it used to be a spaceship.


_{Andy Hopp.}

SPOILINDUNHERE

So, that's it! That's the whole book. That final adventure has a bit more GM fiat than I'd like, but it at least acknowledges that the adventure may have gone off the rails earlier and is a little more flexible than it is.

This was a tough one to do as it is, as the book loses some of its charm as an F&F writeup, I feel, without the distinct jargon and overall snazzy tone of the book. Also, though I included a crazy amount of art in these writeups, it's less than half the art in the book. (And generally at reduced quality from what the PDF has.)

I'll be doing the first supplement, The Whole Hole, whenever Andy gets around to getting me the PDF he owes me, and I have time, and the stars align, and even death may die, etc. There's also the card game and miniatures coming out in a while, and I'll have access to both on release.

And that's all. Ya'll can go back on home.

Next: Nothin'. Low Life's done- wait, what is that on the horizon? Oh, fuck me. Oh, no, fuck me.

_Noooooooooo-