Wraeththu: The Ennovelling Chapter 1
Once upon a time there was a sweet little Bishie named Pellaz. Pellaz lives on a shitty farm in the middle of the desert, and frankly the whole setup reaks of the opening of Star Wars. There is a girl that is his friend and confidant, but he doesn't like her. Sorta. I'll let the author, Storm Constantine, explain. "Sometimes she made me ache to look at her, yet I really never noticed girls." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean. When you say you ache for someone, in English, you're generally talking about either romantic or sexual attraction. But we press on.
Pellaz and Mima(don't spend too much time remember her name, she is a girl after all, and soon we'll be off to the magical land of bishies!) talked about the Wraeththu. Different people have different explanations for them. Everyone is scared. Basic post-apocalyptic stuff.
Suddenly, from off stage, the stranger. The sexy, sexy bishie stranger. "He was deeply tanned, with wild, yellow hair flattend by the humid air, and blue, almost purple eyes." Seeing Cal gives Pellaz a sharp pang of teenage angst, during which Pellaz realizes that his destiny is calling him(destiny, like Storm Constantine, communicates primarily through sexy boys).
Cal is immediately brought into the house and starts flirting with Pel's sisters. Mima pretty much immediately twigs to what is going on, and trys to warn Pel. This is reasonable, because as we learned in the Wraeththu RPG book, being recruited to be a Wraeththu-coo-coo-cachoo is a death sentence because the vast majority of convertees die in the process. Mima says she loves Pel, he ignores her, it's bed time.
During the night, Cal sneaks into Pell's room and admits everything. He is in fact not human, his sperm does in fact kill weak humans, he is in fact Wraeththu, and Pel should totally abandon his life and come with him. Our protagonist is not that bright, so he sees no problem with this. Then, Cal sesals the deal with the ultimate pick up line "This is called the Sharing of Breath, it is sacred and powerful." Then he gives Pell the tongue. Intercultural exchange!
They travel throught the desert to a Wraeththu town, during which Pell is sad that Cal is not all over him. Furthermore, Cal gets to ride on the pony. Pell rightfully believes this to be bullshit, and tosses all his gear on the ground like a child. Cal apologizes, and Pell decides that it's all his fault that Cal doesn't want him, because he isn't a magic bishie yet.
Wraeththu-boogaloo town! They don't have electricity, but they have neat post-apocalyptic stuff like cars. Also, the first new Wraeththu we meet pretty much admits to all the bad rumors Pell heard about the Wraeooootoo. The town subsits on raiding, and the new guy, Seel, admits that they haven't stolen enough stuff from surrounding human communities to get in much barter. Poor babies!
New Wraedoo, Seel, is *gasp* a sexy, sexy bishie, and like Cal he too has a human pet! Pel gets whiny because Seel is obviously a better partner for hot bishonen sexy-time, so Seel makes the two humans go off and talk in another room. Suddenly, in a flash of reasonable behaviour, Pel collapses in tears, terrified that the Wraepoo will kill him and eat his flesh, or that sort of thing.
Luckily Seel's pet Flick is there to drown that little spark of self preservation. He says that of course Cal is trustworthy! The fact that we know he stole from Pel's family, took Pel away to isolate him from anyone who might help him, and then ignored him all point to him being a swell guy. Despite the fact that he has literally given up everything to be with Cal, Pell comes to a conclusion. "My perspective was all wrong. Self-centered. I had to learn, or unlearn, my own importance. Only then, could I begin to see. Only then would Wraeththu touch me." He comes to this conclusion because he is a moron.
TUNE IN NEXT WEEK when hopefully something terrible happens to the richly deserving Pel!